The Note
"Darla?
See! Daddy got you a present."
"OH. MY.
GOD. I Love you, Daddy. I'll wear this next time we go skiing."
"Honey,
She already has three skiing suits."
"Your mom
loves frowning at all things, I tell you."
"Hahahaha!
Daddy, mom's going to kill both of us for this."
"Or
worse, no dinner tonight for you two."
"Mom? Mom where
are you? I'm home. And hungry."
"I made pancakes
for little darla."
"Darlaaa?
Darling, where are you? We're getting late. we should hit the road now. Make it
fast, honey."
"Coming,
dad."
"A hundred miles,
a hundred miles,
A hundred miles, a hundred miles
You can hear the whistle blow a
hundred miles...."
"Honey, be
careful."
"Lord, I'm one,
Lord, I'm two,
Lord, I'm three, Lord, I'm four
Lord, I'm five hundred miles away from
home....."
LOUD HONKING. TIRES
SCREECHING.
"Congratulations,
madam. Your daughter's out of comma and fine. But she needs to rest for another
one month."
"Mom,
where's dad?"
"Honey,
you need to rest."
"Mom?
Mom? You there?"
"Mom,
wake up? I'm hungry, Mom. Wake up. WAKE UP, Mom? Mom? MOM?"
"Hey,
there! Little princess."
"NO! No.
NO. No. Don't touch me. Don't you dare come near me. Don't. Just
don't."
"Honey,
stop. Come out. Come out. I mean no harm."
"Noooooooo!
Don't you get it! Get away. DON'T TOUCH ME....."
"Darl,
babe, it's me. Ted. Let me help you. Please. Please come out? TRUST ME?"
"Darla?" a sudden call knocked
me to my senses. After a good two-three minutes, wiping of the sweat beads from
my forehead I was relieved to see a face that reminded me of home and
comfort. "Are you okay? Do you.... do you still get those
nightmares?" continued the voice. "Do you still have those
voices, in your head, talking to you?" said the voice with all the
seriousness he could sum together in this drunk state.
"No. I'm fine." is all I could
come up with. "You need to sleep."
With that I saw his heavy eyelids
doze off to sleep, once again. A while later came the soft snoring. "God! he had to drink so much." I
thought to myself. "Tch.
Tch. Tch. Tch." came the voice I've started to hate from a
while. "But you're no one to
comment, girl. You are the reason after all. You gave this to him. That poor
lad's suffering 'cus of you. I gave you an option and you chose the wrong
one." The voice
continued. "And you're enjoying, aren't you?" I spat. "You've
caused enough harm already. Now, stop this nuisance at once. I am done with
your filthy pathetic games. I have lost enough. Not anymore." I managed to
blurt out with all the courage I had in me. "Dearie. Dearie. Courage... is
nice. Confidence... is superb but only, when you know what you're doing. And
overconfidence... is bad. It's VERY VERY BAD. And darling, you don't know what
you're doing. You and me? We've had the best times together. Remember? And this
is where you belong, with me, on the dark side." Ignoring the
voice I decided it will be best to simply leave the apartment for now. To avoid
another fight. Or the awkwardness once he's awake and in his senses. Looking at
him now, like this, breaks something inside. He said eyes are the window to
ones soul and now I know.
I know, I put him in this situation but I
need him back. The only good thing that has happened since.... I guess I'll
simply leave a note. I, at least, owe an apology to the man who helped me deal
with my demons and was always by my side during my dark times. I can try for one last time.
********
"Ted.
It's been
three months and I did make every effort to keep myself away from you, as per
your request, until last night. Because what I saw, broke me. I knew I was the
reason for all this. And I am sorry. From deep within, I am. And I know, I know
sorry won't fix this but in your senses, you won't let me come near you and let
me fix this for you. Just the way you did for me. Because you've got me inside
you now. My demons. My ways. And my tactics. Pretense. Self-destruction.
Sadism. And I know not what to do anymore. You fixed my broken soul, but what
do I do to fix yours? It hurts to see you hurt yourself this way. And were you
not always the one to stop me from drinking and cut myself? So, why'd you do
this to yourself and how?
Last night, you kept
calling my name out, same as you used to, but I know not if it would be the
same once you're up and sober. I know this journey hasn't been easy. And more
than anything, I've always brought you pain which you're never supposed to feel
or go through.
Before, after and in between my
demons, your angels, my anger, your pain, my ego, your self-respect, my
decisions, your opinions, my naivety, your maturity, there was one thing
constant- our love. It kept us going. It helped us to get through from every
mess we got ourselves into. And there's no denying the fact that it still
exists. At least now, I know. I don't know if you will remember what happened
last night and not that i really want you to.... but I know you still care.
We might not be perfect but for once,
I know, you're perfect for me. No matter how hard we've tried to stay away, we
end up together, always. Between us, you're the hopeless romantic, remember?
And how you believed in the 'signs of universe'? Isn't this one?
I know I'm, not the right or perfect
woman you dreamt of, rather this bastard who's never known to live life and
enjoy. A life full of dreams and good things. All I knew was a life full of
demons and darkness. But then YOU happened to me. For a change, I felt HAPPY. I
DID. You've taught me to fight my darkness and trust me, it feels much light,
free and happy. But, shame, all I could give you was my negativity and darkness.
You pulled me to the right side and I
pushed you on the wrong.
But like me,if you'll let me in, for
one last time, I promise to fix this for once and all. I can't lose you again.
Because now that I've found you, I wish to never part from you from this day
on."
Mr. Apurva Srivastav
BJMC IV E